Adam’s Absence

Adam & I began using heroin to make the ‘coming down’ from cocaine more comfortable. It began as a tool. However it evolved and became a daily thing.

We were only 16/17 years old. We thought we were cool. We had a small group of others that shared the same poison. No one outside that circle knew of our drug use.

One day Adam told me his mom found our blackened drug spoon in his bedroom. I was mortified.
He casually went on as if it was all fine. No big deal.
We acted like our using was ‘no big deal’ we had no clue what we were in for.
One afternoon a few weeks after the discovery of our spoon Adam’s older brother took us for a ride in his car.
He was speaking to Adam asking him “what are you doing with your life” “your dreams are gone?”

Suddenly it hit me. I hadn’t dreamt in months. Since using I had no vivid dreams. I used to keep a dream journal, they meant a lot to me.
I knew I had to make a change.
Adam and I continued using for some time after that talk, but after a midnight trip to NYC I puked white foam and blood, and I knew I had to stop. Stop or die in the process.

Adam and I broke up and I moved outside of town 20 miles away. Putting that distance made all the difference.
I became immersed in nature. Mother nature was my only true love and the one who didn’t lie.

I was able to quit the heroin,using Marijuana and nature to heal. Hardwork and desire for more our of life truly helped me heal.

Sadly for Adam, the vicious cycle only grew more comfortable, more complex and more destructive.
He did time in jail, he was a major role in a heroin documentary to help educate others of the dangers.
He tried recovery and rehab over and over.
Almost 30 years of being controlled by his disease, he finally is a peace. His battle is done. He sadly leaves two teenage daughters behind. He had a magical light that would shine in his eyes when he would speak of his girls. They were his greatest victory.
Sadly the battle with addiction became so familiar, the only life he knew to love, and he left many heartbroken as he chose the drugs …he had many criminal charges, ones that had big consequences and he may have felt it was his only way out.
There is always a choice. There is always a way out, if you want it,you can learn to livedrug free.
That’s the ultimate victory.
Learn from the dark times and see the light beyond. It will give you the strength to conquer. Leave a legacy of love and know you did your best.

Did you recently lose someone to SUD?

Please accept our condolences and use this community space as a way to memorialize their story.

Scroll to Top
Receive the latest news

Subscribe To Our Newsletter


Share Their Story

Share their story to commemorate their life and acknowledge their journey.

Our deepest condolences for the loss of your beloved. At ODL, we stand in solidarity with you during this difficult time and would be honored to pay tribute to their memory.

We kindly request your collaboration in our mission to combat stigma and prevent its perpetuation. This involves refraining from using terms that separate lives lost, such as “poisoning“, “murdered“, “abuse“, “addict“, or “junkie“. If these words are included in your submission, we may reach out to you with editing suggestions.  We would not change the intent or meaning of our edit, and we will notify you first for approval.

Please share your personal story, remembrance, or LIFELINE message of hope and support.
You can create a custom summary with up to 55 words for your Remembrance to be displayed in the main Remembrance page. Otherwise, the site will display the first 55 words of your text.
Click or drag a file to this area to upload.
We recommend pictures in landscape orientation with at least 720px wide.
Tell us how you would like us to attribute the message. Example: Use your first and last name, your first name only, anonymous.