My beautiful, brilliant, witty, alcoholic and meth addicted daughter, Erin Ruth died in a horrible, violent car accident 8 weeks ago. She was drunk.
She left behind 3 beautiful children, but she really left them years ago. She fought her demons for 20 years, but in the end, she lost. We all lost. My grief is crushing. My guilt is overwheming. I tried to help and rescue her a million times. Until I didn’t any more. I gave up. I practiced tough love. Her addictions turned her into someone I barely recognized. Our relationship, in the end, was strained. I WAS SO ANGRY. I raised her kids for 15 years. My life raising teens in my 50s was hard. The kids had deep scars from time spent with their addict Mom, and damage that couldn’t be undone. But…they loved their Mom endlessly. They are grieving, but I sense a relief in them as well.
I dont have one single suggestion. One piece of advise. One word of wisdom. I am always sad now. I have a huge empty place in my history and in my heart. I struggle to move forward. I am broken.
One addiction. Countless lives affected.
by Holly, Erin’s Mom