My baby brother didn’t leave us intentionally. He was tired. He didn’t just wake up one day & decide to become an addict. I prayed God would heal him of his addiction & his broken heart/spirit. I will never forget him or stop talking about him because he was not ONLY an addict he was my baby brother, my very 1st best friend in life and I’m proud that I had him as my brother!

He was a protector, he was a comedian, he had a huge heart & he loved with every single part of it. I know all too well why he wanted to numb his pain, we endured a criminally traumatic childhood. He had other pain that he kept to himself that I will never know because he was very protective, not realizing he was doing the opposite by living in his all consuming addiction.

I don’t know how to be a sister without a brother. My tears have begun to sting my face. Today it’s been 275 days since I got the call that my baby brother was gone. It’s just not clicking in my head, it still doesn’t seem real. He was meant for so much more than this. He even played his trumpet in church and he would sing the song. “I can only Imagine” he tried so hard to fight the demons and he truly loved the Lord but the only perfect one is God.

​I don’t know why things happened but I have to trust God’s plan & he saw that my brother was tired. The rest only God knows. I miss you Baby Brother but you weren’t supposed to leave me alone with all this. I love you.