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REMEMBRANCES

Remembering Jimmy, my husband

On February 18, 2019 my oldest son found his dad dead of a heroin/cocaine overdose. On that day I was at work and was worried about Jimmy all day as he wasn’t feeling well that morning and he wasn’t answering my text. I text my son to go check on his dad that I was worried. I get a call about 20 mins later from my son that I needed to come home right away as I start to freak out a paramedic gets on the phone and says he’s sending a police car to pick me up and bring me home not willing to tell me anything.
Jimmy had passed at age of 44. We had been married 21 years and had 3 children all teenagers.
He had been clean for 6 months and relapsed on a Saturday night and was gone that Monday. He had been struggling for 2 years with this addiction and we as a family suffered terribly with him. I believe you should never ever give up on your loved one and I never did. I did have to at times set boundaries and my distance. I had to say many times no. We even separated for a few months and got back together. Now I look back with guilt and regret wondering did I handle him right, ultimately knowing I did what I thought was right. Our children had and have been strong through it all. A year before he died we decided to move away to get away from the drugs and dealers. We moved to Charlotte, NC which was 5 hours away to be with his family. He had gotten a job with his brother working as a project manager for his company. I quickly got a job at Target. Things seemed well for a while til he had a heart attack and nearing died then. As soon as he was released from hospital his brother paid for him to go to rehab. That lasted about 2 weeks. Jimmy had a lot of physical pain in his back that he was once on painkillers before trying heroin. He also suffered from depression. Once out of rehab he immediately started seeing a doctor not just for his heart but for his addiction and depression. He was given an antidepressant and a drug called suboxone for his drug addiction. He hated taking all the medications but did so for a while til that Saturday that he relapsed. He had went into the city and found the drugs on the street.
My oldest son spoke at the funeral I was so proud of him. I remembering him saying his daddy always gave the best hugs and that his dad was his hero. Yes even through it all he still considered him his hero, I felt a little shocked but I understood you see Jimmy was more than his addiction. He was a loving father and husband. We have many many years of great memories with him. He cared about others even in the midst of his addiction he would still help others including witnessing to them and even giving them money.
Through it all Jimmy loved life and he loved us his family and he had a lot of friends. He was charismatic, funny, caring, hardworking, sweet, loving, giving, very smart and interesting. He loved the Lord Jesus and studied the bible everyday for many years even through his addiction.
It’s been 2 years since he died and I miss him more now then when he died. For me time hasn’t healed my heart it seem worst sometimes. I know he’s in heaven at peace so that does bring some comfort. I have absolutely no desire to move on and find someone else I may not ever.
I feel so blessed to have had Jimmy in my life, he was the love of my life and my best friend! I will forever love him!

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